Don’t miss LitFest Pasadena on May 11

It’s baaaaaaaaack!  LitFest Pasadena is fun and free event for readers and writers.  Cribbed from their site:

LitFest Pasadena is a celebratory day of readings, performances, and panel discussions featuring well-known and upcoming California authors, hands-on activities, good food, better books, and family-friendly fun all aimed at promoting the literary arts!

Visit LitFestPasadena.org for full details. 

 

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#73 The Time We Did It Too Fast by Michael Lent

There is some precedent for what is happening right now. I mean, what better way to christen this new marriage? Our courtship consisted of quixotic drives during snowstorms in order to ski in the relative darkness during whiteout conditions at Greek Peak. And there is the time we went camping in a forest outside of Ithaca, New York in early October. The forecast was for heavy rain and we went anyway because it was our time and we were in love. The rain finally cut us a break after two days and one night. I built a fire under the stars and we huddled in a sleeping bag on the tarp-covered ground. Our succumbing to Cupid’s prickly embrace came to an abrupt halt at the sight of the magnificent Indian squatting across the fire. I don’t know which of us saw him first. He just appeared and we just froze.

“I’m Flying Horse,” he said and extended his hand. I pulled my hand from out of the sleeping bag to shake his. With a bit more effort and modesty, Alison did likewise. We had no choice given that we’re basically two heads trapped in a giant cannoli. Flying Horse didn’t seem to mind or notice. He told us he had seen our fire through the trees and decided to visit. “You look like a nice couple.” “Thank you,” we answered in unison. I deemed him to be a good judge given his unique vantage point. From inside the confines of our sleeping bag, we discussed with Flying Horse the rain, the forest and the way the temperature drops at night this time of year. He mentioned the teepee he put up in an open field and invited us to visit. “Well, I’m going now,” Flying Horse annouced after a pregnant pause. The next day I crept up to the teepee but there is no Indian. “Maybe it was an omen,” said Alison.

So here we are now. Four years later. Dawn. On the final sleep deprived fumes of our honeymoon, cruising the infamous Autobahn after a wonderful visit to Ludwigshafen am Rhein, the sister city of Pasadena, California. Newly christened Mrs. Alison Talbot rides shotgun. If I could glance over I’d see her beautiful dark eyes big as fajita platters. A plane in Frankfurt will whisk us away from this fantasy and back to Los Angeles. Only problem: the flight takes off in two hours and we’re still two hundred miles away from the airport. Did I mention that these business class tickets are non refundable? Our host, Ralf, owner of this magnificent steel blue 5 series BMW, is passed out in the backseat, bested by weiss bier and spätzle.

Speedometer quivers past 200 kilometers. 124 miles an hour. I push on. Speedometer inches forward. Other cars doing a buck, a buck-five look like statues. This road is perfect. Every pebble I feel. Hair on my arms stands up like tiny antennas. My bride whispers, “How fast is 210 kilometers?” I swallow hard, calculate. “132.”

Dead ahead in the median I come up on this cop so fast I can’t react. “Eins, twei, drei, Polizei!” He’s got the special issue Beemer. I have no clue if there’s a speed limit on the Autobahn. I assumed there wasn’t. When they catch me I’ll ask for directions to Vermont. The question remains, “What will the German police do to an American going 132 miles per hour at dawn?”

He flashes his high beams at me. I infer that means “Boys vil be boys ven you haf ein superior auto, but take her easy ein bit, ja?” Turns out to be an important safety tip. I ease off the accelerator. 110 feels like stopping to smell the blumen. You can’t believe I’m a rock star. I’m running on the top of a cop car. I’m a rebel and a 4-4 pop star. I hear these lyrics in my head. Hey, it’s my honeymoon.

Then it happens.

Two birds—starlings, I think—locked in a spiraling embrace strike the windshield with such force that both are instantly vaporized. Boom! They leave behind two fist-sized splatters of blood. I fight the impulse to jerk the wheel. “OhmyGod!Wasthatabird???” Alison blurts out from behind the hands shielding her face. “Two,” I answer, my heart pounds outside my chest. “They were screwing or fighting.” Thank God I slowed down or we’d be asphalt pizza.

My ankle has locked up. I can’t really feel one side of my body. Frankfurt Airport is a welcome site, indeed. We kiss in front of the terminal. Mrs. Talbot whispers in my ear, “That was fun. Let’s never, ever do it again.” She bites my lobe. Hard. Ralf wakes while we’re unloading. His breath smells a bit like dead frogs in a trashcan. He stares blearily from the wiper-smeared-blood all over the windshield to me, then back to the blood. I forget the German word for “birds” so settle for “Große Überraschung!” or “Big surprise!” We say a hasty goodbye, leaving Ralf standing on the sidewalk, the centrifugal force of life that brought us together now reconfiguring. With automatic check-in we’ll just make it—maybe even time for coffee. Or maybe Mrs. Talbot has an airport fantasy…

© Copyright 2013 Michael Lent. All rights reserved.

michael-lent120wMichael Lent is a transmedia writer/producer. His credits include more than a dozen graphic novels including Prey published by Marvel Comics, eight books including On Thin Ice, based on the reality series “Ice Road Truckers,” and Christmas Letters from Hell, the #1 holiday humor book for 2007. He was a producer on the movies CONNECTED, WITCHES’ NIGHT, NAKED IN AMERICA and HARD SCRAMBLED, as well as writer on THE HELLSEEKER. Lent recently adapted Stephen King’s “The Reaper’s Image” for radio theater.

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Sing it, sister!

Here’s a great new song about Pasadena! Listen to “On Colorado Boulevard” from “Shades of Rue,” The Songs of Steven A. Rue.

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News flash: fiction is fiction by John Sandel

John Sandel

Tara Samuel and John Sandel, co-founders of the Script Kitchen. (Photo by Petrea Burchard.)

The Rose City Sisters welcomes guest contributor John Sandel. He and Tara Samuel are the co-founders of the Script Kitchen, a small class devoted to helping writers develop stories.

John wrote features for a living, starting in 1996, for clients like the producers of Revenge of the Nerds, Tom & Viv and Arlington Road. Since the writers’ strike of 2007, he’s produced and directed small projects, including his own. He serves on the board of We Make Movies as Director of New Business. Now, on to the guest post!


Boy, the interwebs have created a huge playground for storytellers. Email, ebooks, EPUB, SmashWords, CreateSpace, Facebook…(and Twitter: one hundred-forty characters in search of a purpose).

The web is our water-cooler, the new cistern for the global village. And hey! Everybody has a tale to tell. No wonder we have flash fiction; brevity = virtue. And it’s ancient. Before we corralled electrons into cages—back even before Johnny Gutenberg moved nations with type…flash fiction was being shared around the fire. (You never knew when the Cossacks—Saracens, Mongols, whatevs—would come thundering through the village again.)

Soooo, we have this enormous conversation—this raucous caucus—going. And you want to get people’s attention.

Bad news: everybody’s talking at the same time.

Good news: most of it’s just noise.

So it’s simple…to rise above the chaos, have a good tale to tell.

But what’s a “good story”? How do you know when you’ve got one?

Well, flash fiction is just less prose, so it shares its audience with War and Peace. Same rules apply. I teach a class where we identify the rules of good storytelling and practice ‘em. It’s called the Script Kitchen, because this is Los Angeles.

(If this were New York City, I’d call it Prospectus 101; if it were Washington, DC, I’d call it the Congressional Record—but never mind.)

The Script Kitchen has a simple premise: stories are like food. You want people to eat, so give ‘em the good stuff. Know what goes into it—make your cake with sugar, not salt—and they’ll come back for more.

Our original school for storytelling is our families. As a kid, you learned everything you needed to know to be a spellbinder…but you forgot. You weren’t listening; you were playing with your food.

But think back…how many times has Uncle Charlie had everybody’s attention around the dinner table, promising a hot one about “what happened that time the office manager came in drunk” … and he gets going pretty good, up to the point where everybody saw the gin bottle in the guy’s desk-drawer…but then Charlie trails off into details and private asides, ’til he’s not saying much of anything, and someone says, irritably:

“So? What happened?”

And Charlie says “Oh. She sent him up to Human Resources. Pass the butter.”

Charlie forgot his ending, or doesn’t know he needs one—he’s not a trained storyteller. In the Script Kitchen, we train folks and send ‘em out to conquer the interwebs. And that brings up …

RULE NO. 1: Know your ending.

This is, literally, the first job of the storyteller. You don’t have to know your ending before you start—though that helps—but you have to know it before you deliver your tale, on the web, on the subway, on vellum, whatever.

(Uncle Charlie didn’t follow that rule, so folks got annoyed. Guess who’s not sitting at the head of the table next Thanksgiving!)

Now, we’re not talking novels, here (though you can bet that, at some point before he sent The Sun Also Rises to his editor, Hemingway knew how it would end). Novels take so long to write that you’re allowed a certain amount of wandering around—to be a tourist in the world you create. Shorter forms? Same, but less so. Audience patience is like a retractable leash.

But at some point, you have to know how it will end. After all, that’s what the audience is paying you for—even if your only wage is butter for your roll.

RULE NO. 2: Give us a hero.

Not someone heroic, but someone in the foreground, the one I should pay attention to. Make sure your opening sentence describes that person doing something. Ask yourself: why this person? Why now? Then get your hero to the ending (which you already know).

What happens in between? Through what swamps of fire, marriages of doubt or packages of madeleines does your hero shoulder? That all’s up to you, but they’re determined by …

RULE NO. 3: Your middle is your meat.

In the Script Kitchen, we spend more time fussing over the middle of students’ stories than any other part. Once they’ve decided their ending and are sure of their hero, they’re like cooks, squinting at their recipes, bending over their bowls, mixing, mixing…

When they get their ingredients right, the story gels. We get an interesting person suffering vividly, all the way to a satisfying ending.

And you gotta know these three basic tasks apply to all stories. Keep them in mind while you read others’ work—classics or no—and you’ll see them in operation in every “good” story.

Other exhortations of craft have come from different writers, down through the years. Henry James admonishes us to get “miles and miles behind the character.” Kurt Vonnegut tells us to “always start the story with the main character wanting something badly.” Raymond Carver says we must “start the story as close to the end as possible.”

One of the exercises we do in the Script Kitchen incorporates these rules and is directly applicable to flash fiction. It’s a building-block technique I use every time I have an idea for a story. It tests whether a story idea will survive expansion to a larger form.

It’s iterative. It’s simple:

1. Pick a story:
“John Goes to the Bank”

2. Tell the story in a sentence:
After he had lunch, John went to the bank, made a deposit and drove home. (Yes, that’s a complete story.)

3. Break the sentence into 3 parts: Beginning, Middle & End:

B. After he had lunch
M. John went to the bank, made a deposit and
E. drove home

4. Do the same for each resulting phrase: find the Beginning, Middle & End. Write each result as a full sentence:

B. John went into the kitchen, got out cold cuts, sandwich bread, condiments & a drink, made a sandwich and ate.
M. John got his bank deposit together, grabbed his wallet & keys, drove downtown to the ATM and made his deposit
E. John got back into his car, jetted into traffic and drove uphill to his house, where his dog sulked on the porch.

5. Repeat

For a short story, you might stop this process when you have, say 5,000 words. For a novel, 90,000…but usually, it’s used to generate an outline.

“Flash fiction” means you can stop way short of those goals, but it follows the same rules. Audiences want a great opening. They want a meaty middle and a tasty ending. Everything we teach in the Script Kitchen applies to our newest, briefest story form.

Remember: when you starve people, they’ll hate you. But feed their imaginations—give people all three courses—and they feel fed. That’s how to get ‘em coming back for seconds.

For more more information about The Script Kitchen, visit the Facebook Page, get the class PDF, or email John and Tara.

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#72 The Forest by Paul Parten

We never liked living close to big towns, my dad always said they made the air taste too closed in, ‘pre-used’ he’d call it.   But, dad always had to go where the jobs were, so moving to California was just another house in another town.

New friends, new school, new address.  Again.

The moving truck got to our new home a couple of hours before we did, but the sun wasn’t too high over the horizon as we pulled up the long driveway in my dad’s pickup truck.  My backpack sat on the floorboard, tucked between my sneakers.  Our furniture sat on the front lawn, still covered in thick plastic from the move and a couple of burly men were lugging our couch into the open front door of our new home.

“Don’t worry honey, this contract is a big one.  You might actually be able to stick around through next school year.”

His voice had that sing-song quality grown-ups always use when they want you to think everything is going to be okay.  I just smiled and nodded, I knew that was what he wanted.  I hoped he was right, but he didn’t understand how rough this was each time we moved.Continue Reading

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